"let them eat cake"

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Two months of deliciousness

Many thanks for your patience with my leadership incompetence, loyal CEPR Cake Clubbers. I have filled you all in on the churros y chocolate debacle, but never fear, tomorrow is a new day. In the meantime, we get Waitrose cake.

Also, after my abortive attempts at automated rota-ing (can anybody who is now a member of my personal calendar just, y'know, delete that), we've come full-circle to the good old-fashioned blog. Two more months of rota here! Let me know if we need to make any swaps!

6 July-Nadine (who cannot get out of it this time by hopping off to Curacao!)

13 July-Lorna (we look forward to experiencing further delights from M&S)

20 July-Anil (No further exploitation of children this time, please. Poor Thomas.)

27 July-Hiral (Lent is over, so we expect some proper chocolate)

3 August-Claudia (Disappearing cake won't elude me this time. I know that trick now.)

10 August-Cathy (who will she outsource her baking to this time? wink wink)

17 August-Beatrix (we've been told to expect Brazilian bol, much to mine and Claudia's delight)

24 August-Alex (If we're doing themed Cake Club nowadays, how bout a Great Gatsby cake? The baker must wear a very large hat.)

31 August-Rachel (Very deeply impressed by the cupcake photos and can hardly wait for this!)

7 September-Stephen (ooh, which country will he profess his patriotism for this time?)

13 September-Robert (TUESDAY edition, as usual for the IT crowd. Robert, I am giving you a dispensation to buy a cake--or even a pizza--after seeing the agonizing calisthenics you went through to give us cake last time. Although it was de-lish.)

Thursday, 9 June 2011

A Mélange of CEPR sweetness

Gaby Schacter's SPECIAL EDITION Brownies
Claudia's Contribution: So Amazing That It Immediately Ceased to Exist

Oh-So-Gorgeous, Rachel.

We take our cake pretty seriously around here

A baker is just getting ready lock his front door when a man rushes up. "I need to have a cake made right now!" he exclaims.

"I'm sorry," replies the baker. "But I was just closing up. I've dismissed my staff; I've shut down my machines; I'm afraid you'll have to come back tomorrow."

"I can't wait until tomorrow!" insists the man. "It's absolutely imperative that this cake be made right now!"

The baker always liked to think of himself as a nice guy, so he says, "All right, I'll see what I can do." He goes inside and turns all his appliances back on. He then approaches the counter and ties on his apron. "Okay, what is it you need?"

The man whips out a sketch from his pocket. It's a very well drawn depiction of a cake. "It has to look just like this," says the man. "Exactly one foot wide, one foot long, and six inches tall. White frosting, blue icing, and a red cursive "S" in the middle. Just like this."

Somewhat startled, the baker ponders the sketch for a few moments and replies. "I think I can do that. It will be ready in about half an hour."

"Half an hour!?" exclaims the man. "That won't do. I need this in fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen minutes?" responds the baker. "I'm not sure I can do that. I suppose I might be able to get it done that fast if I used some pre-made dough. It wouldn't taste as good but..."

"I don't care. Just get to it, please," blurts the man, while checking his watch frantically.

So the baker goes back and makes the cake. He works faster than he ever has before, and somehow produces the cake in just under fifteen minutes. He presents it to the man fresh out of the oven. "Will this be sufficient?" he asks.

The man takes a measuring tape from his pocket. He checks the length, width, and height very carefully. He then compares it to the sketch. Suddenly, a look of horror comes across his face. "No no!" he exclaims. "The 's' is the wrong shade of red! It has to be the same shade as the sketch. Oh, what will I do now??"

"Calm down," says the baker. "If the shade really is a problem I think I can re-ice it. It may take a few more minutes..."

"You can?" asks the man anxiously. "Well please, get going!"

So the baker quickly takes the cake back and puts on a new "S". A few minutes later he brings it back to the visibly distraught man. "There you go. Is this what you were looking for?" he asks.

Once again the man scrutinizes the cake, checking every detail. He compares the shades of red, and this time decides they're all right. "Okay" says the man quickly, "this is good. Can I pay you now."

"Of course," says the baker, hastily readying the cash register. "Now, the boxes we have available are over here. Do you want to pick one out?"

"Oh no, that won't be necessary," answers the man. "I'll eat it here."


(Humour stolen from Martin Rebas: http://www.rebas.se/humor/jokes.shtml)