This is what Christmas tastes like...

You’re Invited!

What: The 2^nd Annual Cake Club Christmas Soirée-Potluck-Social Thing!

Where: CEPR Con Room by that awesome Argos Christmas tree

When: Wednesday 7 Dec, 12:00

Who (and what to bring):

Martyn – mulled wine

Anil – mini Babybels (but hopefully something else that is better, like hamburgers. Or a full-size roasted turkey.)

Hiral – yummy veg lentil things

Susan – Nanimo bars!

Claudia – mini pizzas

Jan – tiramisu

Beatrix – poppy seed cake and something savoury

Sam – a meat pie, a veggie pie, and a cake

Nadine – cheese

Janet – plantain crisps

Robert – TBC

Rachel – Also TBC

Lorna – something from M&S

Stephen – pancakes

Alex – nibbly bits

Cathy – TBC

If someone can manage to bring along a raging fire and Father Christmas, that would be nice too.

Two months of deliciousness

Many thanks for your patience with my leadership incompetence, loyal CEPR Cake Clubbers. I have filled you all in on the churros y chocolate debacle, but never fear, tomorrow is a new day. In the meantime, we get Waitrose cake.

Also, after my abortive attempts at automated rota-ing (can anybody who is now a member of my personal calendar just, y'know, delete that), we've come full-circle to the good old-fashioned blog. Two more months of rota here! Let me know if we need to make any swaps!

6 July-Nadine (who cannot get out of it this time by hopping off to Curacao!)

13 July-Lorna (we look forward to experiencing further delights from M&S)

20 July-Anil (No further exploitation of children this time, please. Poor Thomas.)

27 July-Hiral (Lent is over, so we expect some proper chocolate)

3 August-Claudia (Disappearing cake won't elude me this time. I know that trick now.)

10 August-Cathy (who will she outsource her baking to this time? wink wink)

17 August-Beatrix (we've been told to expect Brazilian bol, much to mine and Claudia's delight)

24 August-Alex (If we're doing themed Cake Club nowadays, how bout a Great Gatsby cake? The baker must wear a very large hat.)

31 August-Rachel (Very deeply impressed by the cupcake photos and can hardly wait for this!)

7 September-Stephen (ooh, which country will he profess his patriotism for this time?)

13 September-Robert (TUESDAY edition, as usual for the IT crowd. Robert, I am giving you a dispensation to buy a cake--or even a pizza--after seeing the agonizing calisthenics you went through to give us cake last time. Although it was de-lish.)

A Mélange of CEPR sweetness

Gaby Schacter's SPECIAL EDITION Brownies

Claudia's Contribution: So Amazing That It Immediately Ceased to Exist

Oh-So-Gorgeous, Rachel.

We take our cake pretty seriously around here

A baker is just getting ready lock his front door when a man rushes up. "I need to have a cake made right now!" he exclaims.

"I'm sorry," replies the baker. "But I was just closing up. I've dismissed my staff; I've shut down my machines; I'm afraid you'll have to come back tomorrow."

"I can't wait until tomorrow!" insists the man. "It's absolutely imperative that this cake be made right now!"

The baker always liked to think of himself as a nice guy, so he says, "All right, I'll see what I can do." He goes inside and turns all his appliances back on. He then approaches the counter and ties on his apron. "Okay, what is it you need?"

The man whips out a sketch from his pocket. It's a very well drawn depiction of a cake. "It has to look just like this," says the man. "Exactly one foot wide, one foot long, and six inches tall. White frosting, blue icing, and a red cursive "S" in the middle. Just like this."

Somewhat startled, the baker ponders the sketch for a few moments and replies. "I think I can do that. It will be ready in about half an hour."

"Half an hour!?" exclaims the man. "That won't do. I need this in fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen minutes?" responds the baker. "I'm not sure I can do that. I suppose I might be able to get it done that fast if I used some pre-made dough. It wouldn't taste as good but..."

"I don't care. Just get to it, please," blurts the man, while checking his watch frantically.

So the baker goes back and makes the cake. He works faster than he ever has before, and somehow produces the cake in just under fifteen minutes. He presents it to the man fresh out of the oven. "Will this be sufficient?" he asks.

The man takes a measuring tape from his pocket. He checks the length, width, and height very carefully. He then compares it to the sketch. Suddenly, a look of horror comes across his face. "No no!" he exclaims. "The 's' is the wrong shade of red! It has to be the same shade as the sketch. Oh, what will I do now??"

"Calm down," says the baker. "If the shade really is a problem I think I can re-ice it. It may take a few more minutes..."

"You can?" asks the man anxiously. "Well please, get going!"

So the baker quickly takes the cake back and puts on a new "S". A few minutes later he brings it back to the visibly distraught man. "There you go. Is this what you were looking for?" he asks.

Once again the man scrutinizes the cake, checking every detail. He compares the shades of red, and this time decides they're all right. "Okay" says the man quickly, "this is good. Can I pay you now."

"Of course," says the baker, hastily readying the cash register. "Now, the boxes we have available are over here. Do you want to pick one out?"

"Oh no, that won't be necessary," answers the man. "I'll eat it here."

(Humour stolen from Martin Rebas: http://www.rebas.se/humor/jokes.shtml)

A Still Life

Turns out Hiral's carrot cake and a pint make a surprisingly sustaining lunch. It even includes a serving of vegetables!

A Cake Club Theme Song by Cake?

What do you guys think? Any other recommended cake-related soundtracks?

Everything is Illuminated

Yes, it is raining today. But there is glorious sunshine in our souls after Cathy's Hummingbird Bakery cupcakes flitted into the CEPR kitchens this morning.

Because I have been remiss in Cake Club blogging, I should also point out that Beatrix's raspberry cake was equally brilliant, as were Stephen's Shrove Tuesday pancakes, tasting, by nearly universal consensus, solely of maple and or/Nutella but not at all of bark.

We have agreed that Cake Club brings so much joy to our lives that we should do it weekly--so be sure to have a look at the rota below and see your new fixtures!

Also don't forget about our Cake Club outing to Gail's Bakery in Exmouth Market on Thursday evening! Free wine and five types of bread. Not to be missed.

URGENT: The first rule of Cake Club is, You do not talk about Cake Club

The second rule of Cake club?

Guess.

Cake Clubbers everywhere must be made aware that their culture and identity and values are being assaulted by the recent unravelling of orderliness in our beloved alternate office reality. No matter if the person on the bus beside you is sporting suspicious bruises and claims to know Tyler Durden, under no circumstances should you converse with him.

Discipline, I'm sure you all will agree, must be maintained.

Straight from the farm

Podunks. Hillbillies. Mountain Williams. Call us what you like but you will find some good things in Smoky Mountain trailer parks besides Jack Daniels and Dolly Parton albums. Namely, these gooey lovely pecan sticky buns that we used to eat back home in Kentucky.

This week we are celebrating:

1) Nadine being back, all lovely and tan, from that place they named the blue liquor after!

2) The arrival of a compatriot! Welcome to Alex, whose native New Jersey is a much more dignified state than mine. Here's hoping that her more elevated provenance will increase the respectability of all her American CEPR colleagues.

3) The departure of Robyn! Well, of course, we are not technically happy about this, since we have loved having her around to buffer our incompetence with transferring telephone calls. But she is beginning a bigger, better, mosquito-centred career where she will undoubtedly find great success and professional satisfaction examining larvae and whatnot.

Don't forget to come to the pub on Friday night to toast the three ladies of honour!

I love a warm pig belly for my aching feet

Dear loyal CEPR Cake Clubbers, or as I prefer to call you, my dear subjects,

Social scientists agree that a regime's maturity is confirmed by the successful and peaceful transfer of power. Some self-congratulation seems in order, then, after the abdication of our dearly departed Head Chef and the coronation of, well, me, your dearly resident one.

Social scientists might also tell you that crucial to the new leader's success is a swift and outstanding assertion of authority to quickly earn the respect and, yes, love of her subjects. And so I am using this, my inaugural message, to inform you that the realm has been reordered. Henceforth you may expect benign authoritarianism rather than megalomania. Unlike my predecessor, whose Mussolinian rhetoric established confectionary discipline but stifled a whole generation of Cake Club ingenuity, I prefer to model myself on that true patroness of sticky authoritarian lassitude, Marie Antoinette. (This also means that any pretender to my throne must be prepared to impose deposition by guillotine. And we all know that such barbarian outrages are simply no longer fashionable.)

Thus I hereby honour women autocrats the world over. And as a gesture of my maternalistic benevolence, I will replace Nadine (who is on holiday) to deliver our next Cake. Robert is commissioned with providing the pig belly for my aching feet.

Reclaiming the Tea Party

The current Tea Party Movement that's been all over America like a rash has been of particular annoyance to me. Not just because nutty Americans are annoying (except Sam), but because a wonderful British institution and prime occasion for baked goods will forever more be associated with Sarah Palin. urg.

So fellow Cake Clubbers, we shall reclaim the tea party! And the first step in our mission was taken today. We had scones from Nadine, sausage rolls from Janet, special bread from Beatrix, teapots from Claudia, meringues from Head Chef and even Lorna made a cake! that's right Lorna baked. finally!

It was a splendid occasion indeed.